Do you want to change what went wrong and create more of what went well? Look back on the past year and find clarity, direction and meaning for your life in 2020. I have just done so. Read on and see how you do the same.
New Year or the end of a year is a good time to look back at the year that has passed and the choices that were made. What worked and what did not work. What gave energy, joy and motivation – and what took it?
Making a list of the above may sound a bit easy. But that is far from it. Never underestimate the power of the written word. It is very powerful to formulate your innermost desires, intentions and reflections. What we think, write and say out loud becomes our reality. That is why it is an important exercise I am giving you today. Once you have done this simple exercise, you will have much more clarity on how your life will take shape in the coming year.
So just get started, you will be so happy once you have done that and will have a better overview of what direction your life should take. Remember that it is you who decides over your life. Your life will evolve according to the brave choices you make and will help you create the future you desire.
If you want, you can let yourself be inspired by my experiences and directions. You will find my 3 lists for you at the bottom of this post, and a PDF of them that you can print and fill out whenever you want to.
An excerpt from my own experiences in 2019
My own list:
What did not (at all) work for me in 2019!
Being dishonest with others and myself was a really bad idea. In 2019, I put myself in several situations where I was confronted with my dishonesty. Dishonesty towards myself but also towards people close to me. It was a huge shameful thing for me to admit that I cannot always be honest. But that’s the way it has been. Honesty is always best, even when it’s hard to hurt others. 2019 has taught me that it IS always best to be honest – especially towards yourself.
Not daring to open my heart is probably the biggest realization of them all for me in 2019, and something that does not work at ALL. Although I have been working with my traumas, wounds and old pain for around 20 years, 2019 became the year I found out that there is still a lot to work with.
There is no point in not letting people in completely, it only complicates things and makes it impossible for them to navigate in the relationship with me. It is vulnerable to open one’s heart completely to another human being. It’s like posing naked without defense. It requires trust, not only in the other human being, but also in oneself and, indeed, in life and the universe. I would very much like to be in control of it all, and know what is going on before I throw myself completely into something. The problem is just that you cannot. Life is all about letting go of control. We believe that we can control events, love, other people and life, we cannot. The beautiful thing happens when we dare to let go and lean into trust – I am practicing.
Letting go of my structure did not work at all. I am self-employed and work mostly from home. It is really nice to be flexible and at the same time it is also something that requires a lot of self-discipline. I’m a master at procrastinating, and one day can quickly go with coffee dates and phone calls if I’m not aware. In the past year, I have become aware of how important it is for me to keep the structure of my day.
To let go of my prayer and my rituals
In the past year, I have on several occasions broken my very important and fixed routines, prayers and rituals. Despite the fact that I know how important it is for me, my day and my life to pray, meditate, connect to my essence and unite my energy with the universe. One of my teachers Marianne Williamson says that: the relationship with god or the universe (or whatever you call it) is the most important relationship you have, it is more important than your closest relationships, because when you nurture that relationship, your life works much better.
You can better feel your intuition, become better at acting in accordance with your truth, and can generally handle life’s challenges with more ease and overview. My experiences in 2019 have shown me that Marianne is right. My life works best when I meditate in the morning and evening, it really just means that I practice silence, breathe and feel my essence. It makes me a better mom, girlfriend, colleague and friend.
What worked (really well)
- Daily meditation and silence
- Move my body every day
- Eat healthy (most of the time)
- Follow and share from my heart
- Breathe deeply
- To be honest
- Daring to be vulnerable
- Follow my dreams, even though other people might think I’m crazy
- Set clear boundaries
- Prioritize time with my loved ones
- Stand in my light and my power, and be who I am
- Think less about what others think or mean, or what I think they think and mean
So what do I do in 2020?
I must remember to make room for silence and meditation and deep breathing every single day. It’s my foundation, and it’s what keeps me from getting lost and too far away from home! I do this by staying in the routine, even though it may seem unmanageable and I would rather sleep 10 minutes longer in the morning.
I must remember that I can only receive what I am willing to give. If I want unconditional love, I must be willing to give it myself.
I must remember to follow my heart and parts from the heart by listening to, and acting on, my inner voice or intuition that is my compass and that ALWAYS tells me the truth. Even when the truth does not look quite as I had hoped.
I have to remember to be honest! ALWAYS – also when it is difficult.
I have to learn to let people who are close to me completely in. When I don’t do that, I confuse them and refrain from loving and being loved.
I have to be vulnerable and dare to show my innermost self and trust that I will be caught if I fall – because I do that at times.
There is a crack in everything, that is how the light gets in
– Leonard Cohen
I hope the above has inspired you to make three lists on your own for the New Year. I have made a New Year’s guide for you, which you can print and fill out, that helps you through the process.
You will need approx. 10 minutes to answer the following questions. It is important that you write them down as this makes the exercise much more powerful. (Everything is gathered in a PDF, you can download and print – and then you can fill in your own lists when you want)
What did not work in the past year?
Write down all the things that did not work for you. It can be what investments in your life you did not get enough or anything out of. Both financially, but to a very high degree also energetically and humanly. What people, activities, places and things sucked more energy out than they gave? Or made you feel paralyzed, drained or locked?
Write down all the things that actually worked. Both in your professional life and in your personal life. Which “investments” turned out profitably both financially, time wise, humanly and energetically? What people, activities and circumstances lifted, moved and developed you?
How can you do more of what works and less of what does not?
The first two questions are about what worked and what didn’t work. And they help you figure out how to move and develop in a positive direction. Now write down how you specifically want to do it. How do you intend to act on the information you have received by answering the first two questions?
Happy New Year – and enjoy!